Maybe someone told you at some point to not take yourself so seriously. That's correct and wrong at the same time.
If you cannot laugh about yourself and realize you are a fool on a daily basis, you will run into big trouble.
If your ego is overly active it is trying to protect you from the reality that we all must face: we know nothing, we are fools and we fuck things up all the time.
That is one side of the coin.
But on the other hand you have to TAKE YOURSELF EXTREMELY SERIOUSLY.
One of the worst things that can happen to you is indifference. The state where you take nothing seriously anymore, especially yourself.
This is the state of death.
No child is born a cynic.
Children take things extremely seriously. To an extent we as grown-ups struggle to understand why some things have such importance for them.
"I wanted to close the car door!" is just one of the thousands of experiences where one of my children got super angry with me, because I did something automatic that I thought wouldn't matter.
Children take things so seriously because they take development seriously.
Their own development is very very very high up on their priority list.
And if something is felt as interfering with their development, they run into emotional turmoil.
My child wanted to close the car door because it wanted the experience. It knew it would support its development.
Grown-ups on the other hand can lose the interest in their own development.
They start to have a "daily life," something a child does not have because every day is "development day."
If you do not take yourself seriously you might very soon stop to grow.
Many of us walk around with all sorts of unhealed wounds. Things other people have said, lack of affection, grades etc. etc.
People can have lots and lots of things happening in their life that make them feel inadequate. Like they are not something serious.
The tumultuous energy of children can be difficult for many parents and their daily stress. I feel the same on many days. But it is of utter importance to not disturb the creative developmental energy of the child.
That doesn't mean anti-authoritative child care. As a grown-up you have a big responsibility to support the child's development also through teaching how living together with others works and also as a door opener to experiences and skills.
But when we ourselves are lacking energy, are over-stimulated and just want to hide under the blankets, other people's exuberant energy can be disturbing for us.
And so the saga continues if you are not managing to get out of the down-regulation that we do to each other. Obviously everything has its balance. Some people are forcing their will and energy onto other people in a way that truly doesn't work. But the classic, especially German, down-regulating behavior comes out every time people are doing something more exuberant in public space. Someone is singing while taking a walk? MUST BE SOMEONE FUCKING CRAZY!
No you are crazy. You are crazy because you never open your mouth. Because you think we should all be half dead and expression is frightening you.
Yes that's it. You are AFRAID OF EXPRESSION.
That is the cultural curse especially in north western countries. Germany, Scandinavia, France, Great Britain…
Take yourself seriously fellow practitioners!
And laugh about yourself at the same time.
That's the only way we can truly develop. You need to bring the imagination. You are not at the end, but at the beginning. There is a lot of development still to be done.
And you can do it because you show up in a serious way. Practicing deliberately.
That makes all the difference and I see the huge transformations all the time.
It starts with your attitude.
You are serious. No one can take that from you. You are serious.
Joseph Bartz 2025